The trouble with this movie is there is a whole lot more than Transformers in "Transformers". The movie tries to be everything to everyone. It is clear that director Michael Bay has set out to entertain both children and ... ]]> Transformers is a lot like a trip to Wal Mart. There is way too much for your senses to take in; some of it is incredibly appealing, some of it is horribly tacky and the whole experience leaves you feeling a little tainted.

The visual effects are the draw with this film. The computer generated Autobots and Decepticons are seamless and utterly believable. At several times the screen is just a mess of CGI garble but for the most part the people at Industrial Light and Magic have realistically depicted a world where 30 foot robots come crashing to earth and change freely into cars, trucks and sport utility vehicles then back again into robots. Think about that for a second. That is not an easy feat.

The trouble with this movie is there is a whole lot more than Transformers in “Transformers”. The movie tries to be everything to everyone. It is clear that director Michael Bay has set out to entertain both children and the parents who bring them to (and pay for) the movie. However, there is also an attempt to appease the hordes of fanboys (and perhaps three fangirls) who have remained dedicated to the Transformers universe ever since they were in Snork pajamas. It seems that nothing has been left on the cutting room floor. There is a romance in there, as well as a family comedy, a military sub plot, cute robo-shenanigans and a techno caper to boot. It is a film that manages to pay homage to (or rip off, depending how cynical the viewer) Herbie the Love Bug, Short Circuit, Men in Black, Short Circuit II, Men in Black II, E.T., Starship Troopers, Independence Day, and Hackers, in no particular order.

The result, for me, is a wildly uneven movie that rambles on satisfying all of its viewers some of the time but less of us all of the time.