Movie reviews: The Transformers (2007) – Part 20

The Transformers movie. Where do I start? I guess I’ll start with what was good about it. The Autobots (or GM) vs. the Decepticons (or Ford) both looked cool. The vehicles where cool, the planes and helicopters where cool, they transformed cool. The film was pumped stock full of cool. The old fanboys had their issues; Octimus Prime now has flames on his truck, Bubble Bee is now a sleak new camero, no longer a VW bug and Megatron is a jet now and no longer a big gun, to name just a few. The real problem here was Michael Bay. The guy goes way overboard, by the end of the movie there is so much destruction and chaos, that you no longer knew what they were all fighting for in the first place, and if you did, by then you just didn’t care. The question is what do we really expect here. It’s about machines that transform into machines for our viewing pleasure. Hey, and it looked cool.

Movie reviews: The Transformers (2007) – Part 63

Not exactly “more than meets the eye”, and you’ll be thankful for it. If you’re hoping for a bizarre twist, or even a surprise within this film, I feel confident that I can dash those hopes for you. If, however, you want to see the best darned big-budget popcorn movie in years if not decades, you must not miss The Transformers.

For those who fondly remember the original toy line and cartoon, the pleasure of perfectly executed nostalgia is almost too much to bear. For those unfamiliar with the original source material (TV-by-way-of-Hasbro-by-way-of -Takara-toys)strap in and prepare yourselves for the greatest cool-fest in memory.

A lot of actioners aspire to use the velocity and intensity of their happenings to illuminate characters and their development. With The Transformers, this is unapologetically reversed. The human characters are only really used as a point of relatability for the audience,a common thread to unite the massive strands of awesomeness.

I may have had a better time in a mainstream movie, but I don’t remember when.

For Shia LaBoeuf fans, he’s endearing but underused. The rest of the cast is either virtually nonexistent or gloriously, blissfully metallic.

I promise you will learn nothing, think little, and enjoy more fun than you have any right to expect from a summer blockbuster.

Roll out!